Losing My Mojo - Feeling Reflective
Howdy readers. So, it's been a while hasn't it? Well, I can report that a LOT has gone on since my last blog post; it's been pretty intense and, though it pains me to say it, I have completely lost my mojo.
It's amazing, how easily you can slip back into old habits. If I'm feeling down then I am used to turning to exercise to pick me back up. If I'm feeling super-blue then I comfort eat and get a bit lazy; a habit that I thought I had left behind - how wrong I was.
WARNING: I am about to discuss FEELINGS and incredibly honest truths.
It started off around the time of my last post. Without going into too much detail, our lives were completely turned upside-down when my husband and I suddenly (and unexpectedly) became foster carers to twins. For the next 8 months of my life I had to juggle a new and demanding job, caring for the children, the dog and managing an entire timetable of access with different family members and meetings with social services. If I could do this time again, there is so much that I would do differently, but I don't have that luxury. I really struggled; I am not naturally maternal and the pressure was immense. Whilst I was - mostly - eating healthily, I didn't always make the best choices. Of course, my exercise slipped. I was depressed and anxious, and I had neither the time nor the energy to do the things that made me feel good. By the time that the girls had moved out, I was carrying a LOT of extra physical and emotional weight.
Weight gained = 1 stone.
Life went on and the weight remained. Then I went and got myself pregnant (who would have thought...?)!
I really wanted the healthy pregnancy. You know, the one where the mother is GLOWING and you don't know that she is pregnant until she turns to the side... Alas, it was not meant to be. I did glow, but mostly with sweat from being heavily pregnant through the summer and trying to do simple tasks like put on my shoes. Team that with PGP and having to wear a sexy belt to support my hips when I walked, it was pretty tough to maintain my fitness regime throughout the pregnancy. Lesson learnt: if I ever have another baby, I will NEVER start a pregnancy overweight again. I will also not say yes to every piece of cake offered to me.
Weight gained = 2 stone.
It's taken me a little longer than I would have liked to get exercising again; it's been a bit of a rollercoaster since Thea was born with both of us having our own health issues and separate stays in hospital. I lost the first stone pretty easily, but I'm still carrying two more than I would like. I'm now in a place where I am ready to feel like myself again. The only problem is, I don't know who that is any more.
So, here I am: 2 stone overweight and heavier than I've ever been, and now following a plant-based diet (a story for another blog post). Writing is something that brings me joy, and starting up this blog again is a way for me to inject more happiness into my life. I'm now on a mission to get my mojo back. I'm going to experiment with different workouts (my post-partum body is not quite ready for the HIT sessions that I used to love) and spend the remainder of my maternity leave experimenting in the kitchen, documenting it along the way. I want what I was looking for when I started this blog; I want balance and to feel healthy.
Here's hoping that some of you still want to follow me on this journey.
Beth x
It's amazing, how easily you can slip back into old habits. If I'm feeling down then I am used to turning to exercise to pick me back up. If I'm feeling super-blue then I comfort eat and get a bit lazy; a habit that I thought I had left behind - how wrong I was.
WARNING: I am about to discuss FEELINGS and incredibly honest truths.
It started off around the time of my last post. Without going into too much detail, our lives were completely turned upside-down when my husband and I suddenly (and unexpectedly) became foster carers to twins. For the next 8 months of my life I had to juggle a new and demanding job, caring for the children, the dog and managing an entire timetable of access with different family members and meetings with social services. If I could do this time again, there is so much that I would do differently, but I don't have that luxury. I really struggled; I am not naturally maternal and the pressure was immense. Whilst I was - mostly - eating healthily, I didn't always make the best choices. Of course, my exercise slipped. I was depressed and anxious, and I had neither the time nor the energy to do the things that made me feel good. By the time that the girls had moved out, I was carrying a LOT of extra physical and emotional weight.
Weight gained = 1 stone.
Life went on and the weight remained. Then I went and got myself pregnant (who would have thought...?)!
I really wanted the healthy pregnancy. You know, the one where the mother is GLOWING and you don't know that she is pregnant until she turns to the side... Alas, it was not meant to be. I did glow, but mostly with sweat from being heavily pregnant through the summer and trying to do simple tasks like put on my shoes. Team that with PGP and having to wear a sexy belt to support my hips when I walked, it was pretty tough to maintain my fitness regime throughout the pregnancy. Lesson learnt: if I ever have another baby, I will NEVER start a pregnancy overweight again. I will also not say yes to every piece of cake offered to me.
Weight gained = 2 stone.
It's taken me a little longer than I would have liked to get exercising again; it's been a bit of a rollercoaster since Thea was born with both of us having our own health issues and separate stays in hospital. I lost the first stone pretty easily, but I'm still carrying two more than I would like. I'm now in a place where I am ready to feel like myself again. The only problem is, I don't know who that is any more.
So, here I am: 2 stone overweight and heavier than I've ever been, and now following a plant-based diet (a story for another blog post). Writing is something that brings me joy, and starting up this blog again is a way for me to inject more happiness into my life. I'm now on a mission to get my mojo back. I'm going to experiment with different workouts (my post-partum body is not quite ready for the HIT sessions that I used to love) and spend the remainder of my maternity leave experimenting in the kitchen, documenting it along the way. I want what I was looking for when I started this blog; I want balance and to feel healthy.
Here's hoping that some of you still want to follow me on this journey.
Beth x
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